Figments

So I have a character in my NANO named Keir who was a Seer back on there world of Gaia. When Keir came to the human realm of Earth the Gate Keeper, Averok, supposedly took away his ability to see the future. A side of effect of his abilities disappearing is that Keir is now seeing figments of a person who is not there, or a hallucination (but he calls it Figment).

When I first threw in that he saw a figment I wasn't thinking to much about it. I just didn't want to make him blind, and I suppose a part of me thought well if you see as much as he has you are bound to go crazy, right? Somewhere along the past 7 chapters the Figment has developed a mind of it's own and his and Keir interactions are fast becoming my favorite part of this NANO.

So this is my favorite scene so far that really shows the figment changing (excuse any errors, part of NANO is not being able to edit your story whatsoever until the end of November when you have written the 50K words)

“What do you see?”

“I see disaster.” Says the little boy as he stares straight ahead at the wall in front of him, a blank look on his face and in his golden colored eyes. He was only about 10 at the time and his father had came to his room demanding answers to some question. He couldn’t remember it but the outcome was clear as day. Disaster for all.

“Where?” His father stressed urgently. The little boy turned to him and shrugged in answer. It was so simple. What did he mean where, could he not see the answer. “Where Keir, tell me.”

“Everywhere.” He breathed. “I see a disaster everywhere.”

Keir woke up with a gasp, the words of his child self still fresh in his mind. His father had stormed angrily out of the room declaring his visions faulty. He told everyone that he had been a bad seer, a curse from the gods for trying to learn to much. The words had stung at the time, and Keir started to doubt himself. His mother had turned it around though. She always managed to instill some sort of faith in Keir. She believed in him no matter how odd his visions sounded to everyone else. Best yet, she didn’t care that he could see the future. It was just another ability, like any other, to her.

Keir closed his eyes to the memory and took a breath of air. The dream faded from his mind as the breath was exhaled and he was ready for the rest of the day, wherever it lead him to. So he pushed himself to sit up and got off the couch. At some point while he was sleeping someone, probably Eire since Delyth was still out, had gotten him clothes and laid them out on the coffee table in front of the couch. He picked the clothes and made his way to bathroom down the hall.

He held the shirt out in front of him. It wasn’t anything real fancy or special. It was gray with black vertical stripes on the bottom and had long sleeves. He pulled off the tattered white shirt he was wearing and attempted to not look at himself. It was hard though with a mirror right in front of him. His stomach looked like it was caving in upon itself, with his ribs poking out from under the skin. He looked pale, paler then he had ever looked before and his arms were almost like sticks with meat on them. He quickly put the long sleeved shirt on to hide the skinny figure and then slipped on his jeans with his eyes closed. He threw his old clothes in the trash, there was no saving them.

It felt like he was throwing away an old part of his life, his world and he felt little remorse at the idea. It was out with the old and in with the new, and the new would be better. Know one knew him here, he could start over and have a chance at the freedom he always dreamed of.

“’Bout time, no offense dude but all this mopin’ about was gettin’ a little old.” If only those figments would disappear. “I’ma part of you, there no way to make me disappear until you realize what you missin’.”

“I’m not missing anything.”

“Well, no you sure ain’t missin’ it a bit.” The figment agreed as he walked up to stand behind Keir. He looked like him and yet wasn’t. Every time he appeared it seemed like he involved into his own person. His tone had changed into a slang that you heard more in the deeper part of the forests, and his appearance no longer resembled Keir completely. Where once he had blond hair it was no a pure black, and his golden eyes where a dark crimson. He was fuller in body, and not half starved.

Keir turned his head away from the mirror and the figment. It hurt to look, it made him real and him being real made Keir insane.

NANO 2011

We all end up running from something at one point or another in our lives. The only difference is what we are running from. Our world is torn apart by war, the light rules it with an iron fist and kills anyone who stands against them. So we ran away, and we ran fast. We traveled across the universe to another world entirely, were we try to fit in among the humans.

The problem is that you can't run forever, and sooner or later the thing you are running from is going to find you.

The awesome idea behind my NANO this year. I don't know normally pick out themes or anything, but I was listening to Pandora and a song about running popped up and it sort of clicked and solidify the idea I already had about running away into something bigger. I'm going to attempt 3rd Person, and stick with it if it kills me. I have 4 characters somewhat planned. 2 Girls, and 2 Guys. I want more characters then that. 

I don't think they all really run away together, but some how they sort of end up in the some place by some design of fate. The story is actually going to need planning and that pretty much kills me because I hate planning things. We'll see how it goes I suppose. I am excited for it though. It's kind of like... my first bout of CAMP NANO. I was excited for my story, and it came out pretty good in the end. 

I am sticking with my theme of writing about things no one else wants to ever write about in stories. 

My first two babies that I have a concrete idea about is Jolyon and Delythi. Both are arranged to be married to the other, but neither wants the marriage to go through. They are good friends but realize it'll never be anything more.

Jolyon is a bit genderfluid, I think that is the term I want. He's biologically a boy, he's comfortable for the most part being a boy. Some days he wakes up though and just feels like a girl. 

Del.. crap. I got them mixed up. Ashtyn is the one he is in an arrange marriage with, or he was suppose to be. I might change it now. 

Well, Del is on the run from Hunters because she supposedly murder someone... high up... in the light court. Yes, Yes I am plotting this as I type this out. That is how my brain works. 

I think this other character, Keir, might be my Seer who is slowly slipping into madness. Him or Brendan. He's running away from his abilities. I'm not sure how this will work yet. I need to plot them further. 

Don't Make Me (Smile)

Don't make me smile,
It sends me into flutters,
I'm nervous when your around,
Tripping over words I knew how to say earlier,

Don't make me smile,
When you do the ice melts,
My heart starts beating,
The feelings start returning,

Don't make me smile,
Then I start to laugh,
The heart starts hurting,
I can't take my one-sided feelings,

I stand here and I beg you,
Don't make me smile.




Ya, I don't even know where this one came from. Every once in awhile I just get in this mood to write poetry and sadly it always comes off pretty sad. I can't write happy feelings, only the sad one. Obviously this is a poem that deals with a person who has one-sided feelings toward someone, and that person doesn't know it.

We'll go with the excuse that I was channeling either Ryn or Cameo, who are both the personalities who have dealt with one-sided feelings (Cameo's, to be fair, turned into something. Ryn's... was taboo).

Theme 6: Obsession

Theme 6: Obsession 

Pictures covered the wall completely, leaving no room on the wall for anything else, not even the paint could be seen. Ryn knew however that they had been a sky blue color. He had painted them himself upon Kandyl request. The younger hybrid wanted to be reminded of the sky, something he could never see again while he was enclosed behind these walls.

Ryn traced fingers along the pictures, sketches really. Kandyl had never left the room, could never have taken actual real photographs of the man himself. He was a shut in, afraid of the outside world and all it had to offer him. If he closed his eyes and concentrated for just a moment he could still almost see the image of him huddling in the corner, hands wrapped in his hair and tugging as he rocked back and forth on the floor. He was choking on apologies to a man who couldn't hear it.

He’d managed the drawing in a rare moment of lucidity. They were, Ryn noted, drawings of the same man. Element.

About the Piece: Obsession is Theme 6. I used a sort of What If? setting for the characters. A little background for the piece would be what if Kandyl never recovered from his friend Element killing himself. What if he never met Bayde and the wonders of alcohol?

The obsession is shown in all the pictures he draws of the man. 

Theme 1: Introductions

“We should kill your parents.” In hindsight Shiro probably took that as a clue as to the type of person Kuro was. He probably should have gone right away to get his head examine, for certainty he was going crazy. Here was standing in his room in nothing but his transformers boxers and talking to a figment of his imagination. A figment who had just stated in a way of introduction that he wanted to murder Shiro parents.

Shiro really should have been worried.

Introduction, Shiro father had always said, told a lot about a person. He believed that a timid person waited for someone else to introduce themselves first. Shiro was told early on that he was to avoid the weak and timid. Strong and confident people always asserted themselves. They gave a strong firm handshake and spoke with confidence.

Shiro had to wonder what kind of person his Father would think the figment was, probably crazy. Shiro thought he was.

“Sorry, I’m being rude. I’m not even introducing myself probably. Our father would be disappointed.” Like he had been reading Shiro thoughts, he strode forward with confidence and grabbed Shiro hand. He gave it a firm, hard shake as he beamed a wicked smile at Shiro. “I’m Kuro. The darkness to your light.”

As far as introductions went, Shiro was sure this would by far be the weirdest one he had ever encountered.

Theme Challenge

So I am challenging myself. I am taking up a 100 Theme Challenge and my goal is to put out 1 or 2 a day. The stories can be of any various lengths, even just a paragraph as long as it deals with the theme I pick for the day. I am going to make a separate page on my blog for it also with the list of all the themes.

Wish me Luck.

The Children Army

So my August NANO idea got trashed and replaced with a new one. It's set in the same world as my July NANO and the original characters are a lot older. It sort of works through a lot of time jumps. It starts with the main character Zephyr as a small child getting stolen from his home and works up to him getting rescued and adopted by Seven and Rumor from the original story I wrote last month. They have a huge personality change by the time Zephyr hits 16. I blame it on the fact they raised a broken child. It forces you to grow up.

A forewarning to anyone who reads this excerpt from the first part of the story, It's A LOT darker then what I normally write. It doesn't go into descriptive details however. I'm trying my hand at writing a darker story, I'll probably fail.

   They were screaming. My Mother and Father both right before my very eyes. I was only 3 or 4 at time but I could remember the event clear as day. I probably remembered it better then most adults did. It was tragic, or at least it was to me. My Mother begged for mercy as a man ripped into her in the most primitive of ways. My Father had to watch. Every time he tried to close his eyes or struggle the captors would strike until he couldn’t stand any longer and then force him back up from his knee’s.

August CAMPNano

So I am partaking in CAMPNano in August also. Why? Because I like to torture myself obviously. Why else would I do it? I'm not sure I have a clear idea on what I want to do with the story yet. It's going to be tentatively called "Otherside" and it follows the character Kit who was once leader of Hardwire. Before the beginning of Rebel he was captured and you hear about him all through the story and never really see him (until possibly the end).

Other Side is his story about breaking free of building up a small force directly inside the Shadow Kings domain. They also shed more light on the Shiro and Kuro issues possibly. I'm debating on having Shiro as a small part of his group.

I want an inside man, actually as I am writing this I don't want a man at all. I want a girl. She pretends to be a man but once they get free she reveals herself to be a girl. Maybe Shady sister, which would be interesting on the Holiday front also.

It's hard plotting a side story to a story you haven't finished yet. I do have about 30 chapters so far for Rebel. 15 have been written and the others are plotted out and I know what the overall idea is behind what the bad guy is trying to do though I'm not sure how it's all going to conclude yet.

Essentially Shady is trying to steal the light, which is basically Shiro. Shiro was born of pure light, and his opposite was manifested in Kuro who is nothing but shadows.

I think if he gets the light in the box the shadows will roam free and he wants it. Mind you all he got was a highly pissed of Kuro who wants someone to "fix" Shiro who is fading or something. I haven't worked out the kinks in what is going on with Shiro and Kuro yet, only that Kuro is going insane from a lack of Shiro who isn't physically there.

It'll all work itself out though.

Sinking

HOLIDAY PIECE on the CAMPNANO front. A little bit more depressing then the other. Holiday accidentally looses control of his hunger and hurts "Moon" and Song.

It’s easy to fall back into the hold habits. They’re all we ever know really know in the end. A girl with a sickness stops eating, because the food always makes her ill. She’ll feel better if she doesn’t eat. Just enough to sustain her life. A man who has been injured can’t handle the pain of it all, and he takes his pills until he can no longer feel anything at all. He’ll keep taking them even when the pain is gone, afraid it’ll come back again to haunt him.

The Naked Scene

Haha, I wrote my new favorite scene today for CampNANO. Sun learned something about Seven today, and I find it oddly humorous for some reason that it's Seven who would sleep naked. He also has no problem with nudity really. It doesn't bother him, and he sort of looks at it in an artistic fashion. I suppose because he gets no reaction from it, he doesn't find it embarrassing.

Neon lights flashing in bright green over and over again alerting me to the fact that yes, yes it was 6:30 in the morning. Right around the time better known as the ‘ass crack of dawn’ and ya, someone was actually having the courage to knock on my door. A brave person that. The last person who had dared to knock on my door in this joint had taken an alarm clock to the head and learned to not do that again. Granted, if they hadn’t actually of had the sense to enter my room in the first place their head would of been safe and sound.

Rumor hadn’t liked that logic though when I argued it with him and told me to not throw things at people again. I raised my arm in the air as best I could considering it felt heavy and sluggish and waved it around in a lazy manner. I wasn’t exactly sure I managed to conjure up in terms of illusions but I knew it must of worked when I heard the short shout of ‘Motherfucker’ coming from my doorway in what seemed like Sun’s tone of voice. I smiled to myself as I snuggled into my pillows content that maybe I would get some more sleep.

No such luck. Sun was to not be deterred by the illusion. I felt it melt away as much as I felt the cold from the chill morning air as my covers were ripped off my bed. I shouted a little as I flailed out arms and grabbed the edge of the covers just before they were out of my grasp.

“You sleep naked?” Of all the stupid things to ask this earlier in the morning. I gave the covers a vicious yank and they slipped out of Sun fingers without much protest. I wrapped them around my body to cover myself up and away from the cold as I shot him a mean glare.

“Of course I sleep naked. I hate the feeling of anything on me as I’m trying to sleep.” There nothing worse then the feel of clothing clinging to your body as you try to lay there sleeping, especially if it’s hot. Then the close tended to stick, which was even worse. Frankly, Sun had gotten lucky. Some days I slept without covers.

“… Things I could of lived without seeing.” Was all he said as he put his hands up in the air and made a strange symbol.

“Are you warding away the sight?”

“I’m trying to, it’s not working.” 

That Point

There comes a point for me in writing where I completely loose control of what I want (I like to pretend I had control at some point) and the characters completely take over. I've pretty much reached that point. I've been listening to Skylar Grey "Dance Without You" on repeat and it reminds me of Kuro and Shiro a little bit, except Kuro doesn't want to be without Shiro, or break free or anything.

BUT they came to the forefront and said "Hey, pay us some attention." and of course I needed some evil bad guys for a scene...

Guess who's getting used?

I'm swinging it that Kuro is completely and utterly lost control of himself and has taken over Shiro without meaning to, so he's going on a rampage and the Shadow King is using him knowing this.

Then HOLIDAY as I am writing decides he DOES have powers that he could use if he's desperate but is not suppose to, and the thought: Holiday is going to use his Shadow Powers and loose control, comes to my mind.

I have no control.

Why do I even pretend.

But this is why I love writing. Being surprised myself at how this story is going to unfold and what my characters are going to do. This is why I don't plan, and I just write off the top of my head most of the time.

Camp NANO

So I am doing Camp NANO in both July and August. I had to pull an idea out of my ass because I only realized it started in July the last day of June.

It's... well the setting is a Rebel Base Camp. It's a group of people trying to take down the Shadow King. I switch POV every chapter between the MC. Or at least 3 of them at the moment. I wrote my new favorite scene yesterday.

Day 2 was… more eventful. Aion and I were both more awake for day 2, and antsy. My legs were restless in the back of the car and I kept having to shift and move around. Aion had to pee. A lot.

“Someone take away her water bottle.” Note complained as I snatched the said bottle away from her. She glared hotly at me as she smacked the back of my head and took the water bottle back. I winced and rubbed the back of my head and promptly told Note he could take it away next time.

Order had been restored for the moment, until I got bored. I’d glanced at Note in the front seat, and he glanced back and me eyebrow raised in askance and I did it. I started to bellow out the words to the most annoying song ever on a car ride.

“99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer. You take one day and pass it around 98 bottles of beer on the wall…” Note picked up the second verse.

“98 bottles of beer on the wall, 98 bottles of beer. You take one down and pass it around, 97 bottles of beer on the wall…” It sadly kept going like this until we got to 89. By the time we got to 89 Rumor had begun a full out twitch fest in the front seat. I’m not sure I could blame him. Aion had her head buried in her arms and I’m not sure if she had been laughing or crying, probably both.

‘Note and I were not singers, not even close. While he was slightly on key with the song; I was way off (sort of on purpose). The car sort of did a swerve off the road and stopped. Rumor turned around so he could see us both and glared.

If looks could of killed…

Well, Hardwire would off been without an illusionist.

“If you both don’t shut the fuck up with that song, I am going to duct tape your mouth together. DO YOU HEAR ME.”

“Yes sir.” We chorused. I did a semi-mock salute and if possibly Rumor frowned harder. 

Branding, Blood-Drinking, and an Angry Ashe

The scene ended differently then I originally planned. I'm not complaining. As usual it's a first draft so it's choppy. I'm going to flesh it out in the revision and whatnot.

I couldn’t begin to describe the pain, and I’m not sure there any words that could do it justice. The branding iron got nearer to my arm and I started to struggle, kicking at the one guy holding me down and begging him, spewing out little words of non-sense as the other man steadily walked closer. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that if it would of gotten that iron away from me, I’d of done anything for them. I just didn’t want it to touch me, mark me. 

Death

This is unedited. I wrote it probably in the span of an hour or so. I need to go back and edit it, and clean it up and add some stuff in, probably try to put more emotion in it. Did not mean for it to turn out this long but eh, I like it. I always have trouble writing Briar death scene. It wasn't originally planned and then I was driving to work and a character informed me he/she was going to kill Briar and I went with it. It works as a nice reasoning for Hayden to want to kill the DELG., 

People deal with grief in different ways. I always thought it was weird, watching a person cry and cry over a death of a loved one. I never understood it, because I rationalized that the tears would not bring a person back to life. Those tears wouldn’t solve anything, and that person would not want you to be sad. I’d never actually dealt with a close death before; I’d never even been to a funeral. When I saw Briar hanging there on the wall, nails driven into her arms and legs in a crucified sort of way; her chest torn open and her heart ripped out I couldn’t move. I could only stare and try to take it all in; rationalize what was going on before me.

Anger

So I'm working a little bit on DNPG while I gather my thoughts and inspiration for the downhill slide of Cursed. I like DNPG, it's a baby that's been redone and revamped a couple of times. My favorite scenes to write are the angry scenes, and the scenes where someone is getting hurt or tortured. It's a nice venting piece. 

So one of the first two scenes I wrote was the scene where Hayden and his Mom get really angry at each other, and she's kicking him out because he went and became a Vampire, which isn't done in there "world". Vampires are highly looked down upon, they aren't even allowed in schools or whatnot. 

They are sort of looked at like parasites, which given, they kind of are. They drink other peoples blood. 

Life and Writing

May has come and gone and turned out to be a roller coaster of sad emotions, and I'm starting to finally get back into writing again, and feel happy, and not numb.

My grandfather went in for surgery and it went sort of bad, in the since the surgery couldn't fix him and he passed away on the 19th. So I've been in my home town, and then in Ohio for the funeral also, which is a 10 hour drive.

I haven't felt much like writing, or anything for that matter. Been sort of walking around either feeling numb, or depressed and crying my eyes out.

I managed the next chapter to It's Complicated before life went to shit though, and now I'm starting back to working on my book again.

Been reading like a sonvabitch because reading is comforting to me.

I got a laptop for school, and for my writing. It's what I'm posting from now.

Life sucks, and it's sad, and I think I'm slowly learning to appreciate the little things. Yesterday I watched a bunny build a nest. It was neat.

So I'm deciding to skip Ch. 4 since I don't have the first part of the chapter to work from. I'm going to work on Ch. 5, which is Mana explaining the Speakers to Calder, and then compare it to the version I have back home.

See which one I like better. I almost wonder if it's moving along to fast, but I dunno. I'm wondering as I write up this blog if maybe Calder is found in the forest because he is running from who he is.

It has to be a lot to take in, being told you are not normal. I might go back and edit in scenes showcasing how not normal he is when I work on the second draft.

So tomorrow is the day. Grandfather goes in to have surgery done. I'm tired, but I can't sleep because of the worry. I suppose I'll work on writing until I pass out with the laptop on... well... my lap ^^;

On The Road Again

So I am away from my computer until Saturday and in a fit of genius I figured I'd copy each chapter to Curse onto a regular doc so I can focus on it while I'm away from distractions and hopefully finish a rough draft.

Left the first part of Ch. 4 back up in Atlanta so I'm sort of half working from memory on that chapter and pretty certain it's not going to mesh well in the beginning, which means more rewriting for me.

Yay.

But if I manage to finish, or at least get the first half done I'll be content and happy. I'm trying to think up trouble that Calder can get in to.

Should be loads of fun.

Don't Fit

So I wrote a small little scene tonight while I was sitting in the living room when it was storming, and I like the scene. It's amusing, and it makes me smile a lot but I'm not sure it exactly fits. In the sense that the scene could be thrown away and not take anything away from the story.

Which made me wonder if I should keep the scene in simply because I like it, or take it out. I think I might have Kyden point out in ( ) that this serves no relevance to the story, and to get on with it already.

Actually, I was planning on that till this minute while I was typing. I kind of like the idea to. It's a nice idea and I could keep my scene.

See, this is why I have a writing blog. I can rant out my frustration and get ideas.

Cursed - Prologue

Cursed

Prologue

His name is Kyden, and I have a sneaking feeling he doesn’t like me very much. Now you might think I’m exaggerating but trust me when I say there are signs, and they all point to dislike.

The first sign was the evil looks he kept giving me since capture, and then the maniacal glee that seemed to light up his face when a girl handed him a piece of rope and asked him to tie my hands behind my back.

Well, either it’s glee from him hating me, or some sort of weird fetish. To be honest, I’m hoping for the former, I could deal with him being happy about tying me up because he hatred.

Sadly the soft pink hair the guy was sporting left it up for debate.

“Where should we put him?” The girl asks.

"Down a pit?"

"Kyden…" Which if anyone is remotely curious as to how I even know pinky’s name, this is how. I was still trying to learn the girl name, but the guy wasn’t as loose with names as she was apparently.

"Alright, fine. We'll just sit him on the log.” I fell forward as pinky’s foot connected to my back and kicked me towards the log sitting on the other side of the small camp fire they’d built up before I’d gotten there.

"I can walk.” I snap out as I try to not eat the ground, I just barely manage it as I stumble my way forward and sit down.

That was the second sign by the way.

“Look,” The girl starts as she sits down beside me smiling wide, and looking like she didn’t have a care in the world, she could sit here on this log with me all night if she needed to and it wouldn’t bother her one bit. “We don’t mean to be rude, it’s just we’re a little wary of strangers… and you also…”

“I almost drowned you.” I interrupted her. I didn’t need the situation explained to me, I knew what happened. I had been the one to do it after all, only I hadn’t meant to. I’d been searching almost all day for any source of water when I’d stumbled upon a river. I’d stopped to get some fresh water and stock up on my empty supply when pinky popped out of no were and started to attack me with a sword.

Like magic the water rose up out of the river from behind me and surged forward, trying to drown him.

"… Ya, really curious as to how you did that, and also we're you are from."

“I don’t know how I did it, I can just do it.” I told her quietly. “As for where I’m from, it’s Georgia.”

"Georgia?" Kyden asked frowning as he silently repeated the word to himself.

“Yes Georgia, as in one of the 50 states in America, which would make since to you if I was there, but I’m not.” I finished lamely. I wasn’t home, there was no United States of America, or a place called Georgia.

"What do you mean?"

“I mean I was running and the water sort of swallowed me up. When I awoke I was here.”

"Here?" The girl asked pointing around them.

"No, as in here." I said as I pointed to all around us. "Meaning this 'world'"

"You aren't… from this world?"

"Aero." Pinky said in exasperation, letting the girls name slip at last. "He's playing us."

“I don’t think he is.” The girl, Aero, said slowly. She stared at me, a look of wonder and curiosity on her face as if I was some exciting new toy she’d discovered at long last. I couldn’t fault her excitement; I’d probably be giddy to if someone had just told me they came from another world. “Can you explain from the beginning?

"The beginning?”

"Yes, the beginning, um… how you got here.”

“It’s not exactly a short story.” I warned her. There was no way I could sum up how I came to be here in a few short words. I wouldn’t even know where to begin to explain it. “I’ll have to start at the beginning.”

“We have time.” She assured me, even as Pinky snapped at her that it’d be getting dark in a few hours. “So?” She asked turning to look at him as she spoke. “We have a fire going, we’ll be fine.” She was patient; she didn’t snap back or show she was remotely irritated at being snapped at by Pinky.

He made a small retort back and it soon turned into a full out bicker fest back and forth between the two, or as much of a bicker as it could be with Aero polite replies.

I sighed as I looked up at the sky, amazed at how massive and clear it was. I’d been on the move so much I hadn’t had a moment to even look up and study it. It was so different from the sky back home; filled with so much pollution you couldn’t see the stars.

It was nice to know that somewhere out there was a place that hadn’t been tainted by our human hands, and the need to expand and be bigger, better, lazier. We had so much technology we were literally becoming lazy.

It was sad.

I swallowed past a small lump in my throat as a sudden need to explain everything that had happened so far over took me. I need to get it out, or I was going to explode. I could suddenly understand why people went to therapy.

Sometimes you needed someone to talk to, even if you had to pay them to sit there and listen.

I opened my mouth, ready to tell them to shut up so I could speak, and the words started spilling out. I’m not sure I had their attention, I didn’t really care. All I know is once I started, I couldn’t stop.

Ever since I can remember I’ve been cursed. The people around me would either end up hurt, or dead. My own parents had drowned when I was 5, their car swerved off the road one night on the way home from the movies and crashed into the river.

I don’t remember any of it. I couldn’t tell you if they’d screamed, or panicked, or just accepted what would happen. The police and doctors didn’t think they’d died instantly, I’d survived after all.

I was a tiny 5 year old child strapped securely into the back seat of the car, and half asleep. It was only logical one of my parents had heroically saved me at the expense of their own lives.

Humans like the logical. We like to be able to explain the unexplainable. Magic doesn’t exist; it can’t exist because if it did then we wouldn’t be able to explain it.

I survived because they saved me. To the doctors, the police, and my relatives there was no other way.

We believe the things we can accept.

I went along with the stories, who was I to say differently. I didn’t remember it. All I could recall of the night, even to this day, is the feel of the water surrounding me, trying to smother the air from my lungs and furious that it couldn’t, until it finally seemed to accept me and instead of trying to suffocate me it embraced me.

It’d felt warm, loving. Home.

After that I’d ended up being fostered upon my Aunt. I went to a regular school, graduated, and then went to college and started working full time. I tried to live out a normal life, but sometimes things happen.

Sometimes someone would push me one step to far, I’d get angry.

People ended up hurt, people ended up missing.

Thing is, no one blames the nice helpful kid, the one who is always willing to lend a hand, who’s always smiling and polite.

At least, not until the kid Aunt ends up getting hurt. Suddenly that nice kid is the guy with the tragic past, whose parents had drowned, and he had mysteriously survived. He’s always quiet to, and seems to stare.

Don’t the people who get hurt, always fight with him before hand?

I started running, and I never looked back.

That's when life got weird, but of course to explain the weird parts I guess I might need to go back even further. I mean, not to the tragic beginning, I couldn’t even begin to tell you how all that came about, no I’m thinking more of the before, when my Aunt was still nagging me six ways to Sunday, before she got hurt.

Before I started running.

End Prologue

Oh Kyden

The first sign was the evil looks he kept giving me all night, and then the manic glee that seemed to light up on his face when a girl handed him a piece of rope and asked him to tie my hands behind my back.

Well, either it’s glee from the hatred or some sort of weird fetish but to be honest, I’m hoping for the former but the bright pink hair the guy was sporting really left it update for debate here. 

Little does Calder know, but Kyden is straight, or that is what I am being told. The original plan was to hook him up with Calder, but uh... that didn't pan out. At all. For one Calder up and decided to be the second Ace character of mine, though unlike Seele if he really loves the person he'll put out (He'd put out for Mana, but as Mana can't sleep with any of the elements as that would be laying "claim" to him, it's a moot point for the two). Seele repulsed, Syn just has to suffer.

So ya, Kyden (pink hair and all) is straight. I think, POSSIBLY, he might hook up, or has a secret relationship with Aero. Maybe.

I like the thought of those two. Kyden flies off the handle and gets angry really easily and Aero pretty much all calm and whatnot, and cheerful.

It's like polar opposites.

And if I ever hear the words "You're character are only asexual because you are." I'll smack the person, and then proceed to introduce them to "Do Not Pass Go" where Hayden is... anything but *weeps* some of the most uncomfortable scenes I've ever written exist in that story.

Blood and Torture, not fun to write.

Not fun at all.

Dreams

Mana has decided to be a pain in my ass, apparently he wasn't content with popping in late in the series, he had to show himself sooner. He had to appear in Dream Sequences.

Ugh.

I mean, I'll give him it makes since, and it can explain how Calder gets to Gaia but still, DREAM SEQUENCES *Bashes head on the wall* You know whats almost as bad as beach scenes? Dream scenes.

And if anyone actually sits there and wonders why the hell I'm writing it then, well, you aren't a writer.

I don't have a choice. The characters demand it, and I secretly enjoy it ^_~ I just need to vent out the frustrations of trying to make it sound okay. Eventually I'll finish up the draft I have of Complicated next chapter.

Probably after this chapter of Cursed.

In Which We Learn...

That for the life of me I cannot describe a beach. OMG, I am honest when I'd say I'd rather write a scene full of smut (and I mean, come on, me writing smut? I'm totally, and completely out of my depth with that one) then write another goddamn beach scene, or a scene describing water.

Why on earth did I decide that his element had to be water. I hate water. I fear deep water. I just got tired of using Fire, and I mean... I can't use Earth without using Cameo as the MC. I can't use Cameo in this story because it's a different world and then I'd have to bring in Elodin and it's all kinds of complications.

And besides that, I can't imagine him in this world I'm constructing. This world, I don't want any of my normal babies playing round in it. It's completely new and exciting because it has a clean slate.

But ugh, goddamn Beach Scenes. Never. Again.

Deleted

Deleted off the post I made of Curse, because I've updated it with a new huge chunk in the beginning. I've also got all my players, and sadly the one I'm excited about isn't even going to be in the first part of the story, or possibly the second part.

Ugh.

Is it bad I'm listening to High School Musical 3? Probably, I like the movie so I'm not really complaining and no one is around me to complain.

Cursed

He's been cursed, though he doesn't know what the curse is, and he knows he has to find a way to remove it, but everything not as it seems as "MC" starts out on a journey that takes him across the worlds to a land known as Gaia, and it's there he'll join up with 4 others to save it.





It's a thought in progress. I've always wanted to do a cliche "group of people gain magical power" story and I even created a separate word for it at one point, but I never got to writing it. No time like the present though.

Connected the Stories!

So I decided I wanted a list of all the stories set in Terra, or more aptly known as Locke World. The list isn't important to anyone but me, and it's sort of a timeline for me to remember them all. The one with Book beside it are part of trilogies.

It's Pink!

Ya, I once said: I have a yaoi cat boi addiction, and I'm certain it's not healthy.

It's years later guys, and to be honest I still have a cat boy addiction, and I'm still sure it's not healthy. Alas, I'll learn to live with it. The background is Ritsuka from Loveless. I'm pretty sure Loveless is what started me on my addiction.


It's pink, it was either I go with pink or red, and I like pink over red. Scary but true. Took me almost half the day getting this done to. I had to look around at a lot of different sites to get all the coding I wanted and then figure out how to work CCS.

Say it with me: Copy and Paste is our friend.

Ya.

But I like it. I'm rather fond of the layout and I hope it looks as nice on other computers as it does on mine (I'm running 1280 x 1024). If not, oh well. Please don't tell me so XD.

Ya, going to go write now.

5 Stories

I went to attempt to finish 5 Stories by the end of the year which means I have a lot of writing to do. Right now I am working on It's Complicated, and I just started on Beautiful Mess again. I want to try something new and original, we'll see how that goes. I might also make Do Not Pass Go a priority. It feels sort of weird working on it at the moment, with not being friends with Lee and whatnot.

He sort of always pushed me to work on the story. It's going to be weird not sending him snippets and getting his input.

Chapter 3: Parking Tickets

It's Complicated

"Turn left in 400 feet."

"You have got to be fucking kidding me." Holden declared a loud as he pulled the car to a stop and looked out the front window. There was no place to turn. To the left was nothing but parking lots and he knew this wasn't the building he needed. He looked back to the GPS sitting snug in the hook attached to the window and raised an eyebrow. "Turn left WHERE?" He shouted growing more frustrated as he tried to rationalize why he couldn't throw out a 400 dollar GPS. He didn't have another 400 bucks to replace it was reason number 1 with number 2 being that it wasn't so much his GPS as his roommates. He thought the former was the better reason; he'd practically be doing Suoh a favor if he threw the piece of garbage out the window.

Chapter 2: Trainwreck

It’s Complicated

Chapter 2: Trainwreck

It was with slight trepidation in the pit of her stomach that she found herself walking down the long hallway and to the room where she would sleep and live for the remainder of her college life. She didn't know what to expect and the thought that something could go wrong at any possible moment kept replaying in the back of her mind right next to the mental images of her father’s own horror stories. 

Chapter 1: Hobo

Warning: This story will have asexual, homosexual, and heterosexual relationships. If any of that seems offending to you please find something else to go look at it. 

It's Complicated

Chapter 1: Hobo

“You know Seele I wouldn’t be picky on who it is as long as you dated someone.” Seele groaned and almost slammed her head into the wall as she heard her mother voice float from out of the kitchen that was a hallway or two away. No matter how many walls and doors she tried to hide behind she couldn’t escape the nagging worried voice of her mother. It was always questioning her and goading her into doing things she didn’t really feel like doing at the time, and if Seele tried to refuse she’d get that ‘I carried you for 9 months, it’s the least you could do for me’ stare that all Mom’s seemed to be equipped with. 

“… Mom, we are not having this conversation.” The conversation was the same one they’d been having ever since Seele had turned 16. Her mother just couldn’t comprehend why her daughter wasn’t interested in dating, and Seele could never figure out how to best explain it to her mom that it seemed to be a whole waste of time. Not that she hadn’t dated, she had.  Twice, it had all turned out to be a fantastic failure. “Again.” She added as an afterthought.

Secret

I'm making a secret, and you'll never know it. Hundreds of people might see it, but you'll never know it's me. I'm not sure I can keep it buried deep inside the box anymore.

Slight Change

I changed around the layout a little, in that I used a different background. You can't see it but in the actual picture Allen is balancing on a chair. I didn't feel like tinkering with the image much so you can't see the chair. Next time I do a layout I'll make sure to do one that lets me incorporate color I think.

I like color.

Stalking Snippets

"... Suoh, are you watching Holden in his sleep?"

"JUST ONE TIME!" Suoh yelled defensively. "He looked adorable. I couldn't resist. does that make me creepy?" He asked his voice going tiny as Seele snorted.

"I'm pretty sure that makes you a stalker."

(Later On)

"I... I was torn between being completely creeped out and slightly flattered by the fact he sang "Creepin' Up On You" to me."

"You want to be creeped out, he just admitted he stalked you in song form."

"And yet, I am oddly flattered. No one has ever stalked me before."

"Seele... That's disturbing. I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable if someone stalked me. I mean, I'd have a hard time sleeping at night worried there watching me or something..."

"Oh ya? So question, how have you been sleeping lately?"

"What?!"




I couldn't help it. I was listening to "Creepin' Up On You" and this popped into my head. I could possibly see Syn singing it to Seele in order to catch her attention also and then after I wrote out that snippet I got the idea of Suoh possibly watching Holden in his sleep in some sort of fascination and ya... the whole second part spilled forth.

"I need a Doctor"

I'm listening to "I Need a Doctor" and the chorus that Skylar Grey sings is hauntingly beautiful. It's inspired me to write, but it's inspired me to write about Kandyl which would be a problem if I kept Kandyl in his normal RP "attitude" but his general... persona a little... hard.

I'm writing a segment about him from when he was troubled, before he met Bayde and after Mint death. Kandyl was pretty much a drunken whore, mind you he was a pretty drunken whore who could make you saunter off to your death if he so pleased with one musical note.

He's my bard. He influences people with the power of music. He can't make you "jump off the bridge" put he can put the notion in your head.

So the problem here, I'm about as innocently naive in all things involving sex, and I'm trying to write in the perspective of a whore.

This can only be disastrous.

Rust

I can't find it. There a small semi chapter I wrote a couple months ago of Hayden showing Ashe and Briar his first car and it's this hideous looking Rust Bucket of a Vehicle. It ended up with Briar trying make him realize the car would kill him because that's how horribly beat up it is, and Ashe begging him to let him buy him a new car.

Hayden of course declined. He liked his rust bucket.

Sad I can't find it.

“Ow, what was that for?” I ask glaring, rubbing the sore spot atop my head. It would form a massive bump by the end of the day with my luck. Whoever said vampires heal quickly was bullshitting.

“For being an idiot.”

“How the fuck am I the idiot?”

“Did you start the fight?”

“No,” Not this time anyway.

“Then you’re an idiot for letting him start the fight.”

“…”

“Either way you’re an idiot.”

“… I hate you. Clean by yourself.” 




Found that though!!